yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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