You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
