Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
