did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
