office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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