i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize