They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
