last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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