Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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