you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
