i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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