You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
