absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
