I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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