i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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