the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I still have a little drunk in my system
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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