Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
