Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize