They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Enjoy the penises
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
