Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
