The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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