I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
