Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
