Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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