end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
