Having a random hookup so left but love u
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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