You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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