what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
