covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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