Where did you get a picture of my penis
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
