You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
