My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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