I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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