Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
