he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
