Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
