just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
