I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
