i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
