it wasn't lemon gatorade
pop tarts are not kleenex
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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