I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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