Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
