it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
