Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
