I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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