some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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