just tell him i said nine months
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
