I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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