There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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