youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize