so that wasnt chicken after all
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
