it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
