That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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