I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
