farters have to be the big spoon...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
