you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
