there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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