Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
