Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm at about main and main street
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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