I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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