There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
